Today, I went with a friend down to Pike Market. There they have this wonderful little witchy shop called Tenzing Momo. I go there every time I’m at the market, but because I was with a friend, I hadn’t planned on getting a tarot reading today. Having known me for a very long time, my friend suggested that I go ahead and get a reading, that she could easily entertain herself for half an hour in the market.

If you’ve ever had a card reading, or two, you know every reader has his/her own style. Add into equation the fact that I read cards, not professionally, but for fun, and, well, I just never know what I’m going to get. I’ve had some really good readings and some really silly — I won’t say bad, because, just  because — readings. Today’s was good.

As Tansy, in An Untold Want, says reading tarot cards is akin to pagan psychology. The cards are there to help the recipient of the reading get in touch with his/herself. The reader is (or should be) more of a guide.

We started out today with the reader asking my birth sign, Leo. She was surprised, said that it felt like I was more of a Water sign than a Fire sign. I don’t know that much about astrology, but I went with it. We talked for awhile about possible reasons. She said that I was allowing the Water in me to dampen down my Fire. What she said felt true. For a long time, I’ve felt like I have to suppress my personality to fit in. To make others happy instead of myself.

She then laid out the tarot cards. The beginning card was The Star and ending card was The Sun. In the picture I’ve posted, the cards are from the deck I use, the Nigel Jackson Tarot.  The reader at Tenzing Momo used a different deck. Sometimes the deck matters. Most times it doesn’t.  But even if you know nothing about tarot cards, you can probably surmise that these are both good cards.

There is a ton of symbolism in each image. So many things that can be interpreted, from the card number to the colors, to the elements represented, to the animals or scenery in the background. When you read the cards, all these things can be taken into account, or the reader can go with a general idea of what the card means to them. That’s why the deck matters sometimes. Anyway, I’ll give you the short version. In general The Star represents inspiration and renewed hope, while The Sun is all about the power of the light after a period of darkness. About regaining the fire.

About regaining the fire that I’ve quenched for too long worrying about what others want or need, putting their needs ahead of mine.

The reader said one other thing that really stuck with me. She said that I don’t have to produce anything. Not unless I want to.

I know it sounds silly that this was such a revelation, but sometimes I need someone to hit me over the head with it before I see what’s right in front of me. Lately I’ve been feeling so weighed down, worrying about this or that. Worrying about a promotion or a raise or just how I appear. [I have a lot of Maggie MacAllister in me, or vice-versa.] Worrying that I won’t be able to please everyone. Worrying that I can’t be all things to all people.

What I really need to do is write. Not because I have to. Not because I should do it. Just because I want to. Because it’s something that I enjoy, something that I do for me.

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If you’d like to know more about Tarot cards/readings, this is a good place to start:  http://www.ata-tarot.com/resource/cards/

Or if you just want to play around with a reading or three, without having to buy a deck of cards or pay for a reading, this is a really good site:  http://www.facade.com/tarot/